Can We Start Again and Get to Know Each Other as Friends

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Relationships are an important role of any person's life. From friends to dearest interests, coworkers or even someone you just met, you may experience a connectedness with an private and want to get to know the person better. Only it can be difficult to figure out how best to deepen your relationship without coming beyond as rushing it or being overbearing. By establishing interest, opening up to the person, and deepening your relationship, you tin can go to know someone ameliorate.

1. 1

   Initiate a conversation. Having conversations is ane of the all-time ways of getting to know someone better. Getting a person's attention through chatting can send the signals that you'd like to know them better.^[ane]

   • Use dissimilar means to start your conversation. Y'all can approach the person or send a text or e-mail. Go along it light to start and inquire questions to which the person can respond. For instance, yous could walk up to the person and say, "Hello Sara, I really enjoyed your presentation today, peculiarly the graphics. How did you lot do that?" If you're texting or emailing the person, you could write, "Dandy talk today, Sara! I'thou really interested in how y'all did the graphics—would you mind telling me some more nearly how you put them together?"^[2]
   • Recall to keep it casual and not broach personal subjects. Not but are personal subjects more advisable when y'all know the person better, just some people may confuse this every bit you hit on them.

2. 2

   Bear witness your best self. People are more probable to want to get to know you meliorate if you are positive and put together. This shows the person that y'all respect yourself—and your friendship.^[three]

   • Pull together your advent without overdoing it. Wear make clean clothes, rummage your hair, and avert too much makeup or cologne. This signals the person that you are approachable and welcome to getting to know him or her better.
   • Stay positive and encouraging. While everyone has a bad solar day now and then, no friend wants to exist around a person who is ever negative and a downer. If you had a bad twenty-four hours, acknowledge it to your friend and and then say something similar, "But now we're hanging out and I'm actually happy to get out my bad day behind me."

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3. 3

   Be friendly. Everyone enjoys being effectually others who are confident and at ease with themselves. Being positive, kind, friendly and open to the person you would like to know better can assist describe them to y'all.

   • Maintain centre contact with the person and utilize open body language to show your interest and that y'all're friendly.^[4] For instance, grin, lean in with your trunk, and tilt your head towards the person.^[5]
   • Avoid negative talk well-nigh other people because this may turn off the person you lot would similar to know amend. Negative comments may make the person ask, "What are they saying about me when I am not present?"^{[half dozen]}

4. 4

   Be patient. Getting to know someone can take a long time. Gradually increasing your interactions with the person shows common respect and interest. It also allows each of you to reveal your true and full personality, which can ultimately lead to a potent friendship.

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1. i

   Talk virtually your respective interests. Every bit a office of your conversations, talk virtually what types of things interest the person. Knowing what the individual likes and dislikes can better cue y'all into your friend's personality.^[7]

   • Pick upwardly on comments about the person'south interests and comprise them into your conversation. This may stimulate further chat and help you learn more about the person. It can besides lead to doing activities together, which can also deepen your relationship to the person. For example, say, "Did you but mention that you love Vietnamese food? I've never had information technology earlier—what are some of your favorite dishes?"^[8]
   • Inquire questions about the person'southward interests. For example, if you desire to become to know the person sitting side by side to you say, "I noticed that really cute pic on your desk. Where did y'all accept it?"
   • Mention your interests as a role of your chat. This can assist the other person become to know you amend and shows your interest in having a dialogue with your friend. Consider using the person's interests as a way to introduce yours. For example, if you're talking about food yous could say, "I'm a huge fan of trying new cuisines and Mexican is i I just don't know well. Tin can you tell me a little more about it and what types of dishes y'all like?"

2. ii

   Pay close attention to the person. ^[9] In club to pick up on the person'south interests and personality, listen and sentinel closely to what your friend says and does. This shows your interest and gives you lot a point from which to kickoff a conversation or suggest getting together for an activity.^[10]

   • Talk about a mixture of serious and more than lighthearted subjects to get a better sense of the person's personality. For instance, talk about something such as pets for lighter topics. Yous could say, "What kind of canis familiaris do you have or desire to get?" For more serious topics, go along it non-controversial at first so that you don't offend the person. You could say, "Tin you lot believe how hateful-spirited the race for president has become?"
   • Ask questions about the person'southward statements to prove your involvement in getting to know him or her.
   • Discover something about the person and compliment him or her on it. This is likewise a good way to continue a conversation going and prove your interest in the person.^[11] For example, you could say, "Your ability to tackle anything thrown your way is really impressive! How do you lot practice it with such grace?"
   • Watch the person's habits. Does your friend ever hold doors for others? This can evidence you lot that the person is polite and considerate.

3. 3

   Stay contained. You may be tempted to spend a lot of fourth dimension together as you get to know and become friends with someone, but it's important to maintain your independence. This shows the person—and yourself—respect and may help you lot to get to ameliorate know your friend'due south personality.

   • Go along to assert your opinions, which may stimulate more meaningful conversations. Show your friend you're capable of forming opinions. Having meaningful exchanges and conversations keeps your friendship fresh.^[12]
   • Avoid making yourself also available. This shows the person that you are not clingy as well as that you are able to maintain other relationships.

4. 4

   Spend time together. Ane of the best means to become to know someone better is by doing different activities together. This tin assistance y'all see new aspects of the person'south life or personality and also shows your interest in deepening the human relationship.^[xiii]

   • Consider starting off by doing something you both enjoy. For instance, suggest going to dinner at a eatery y'all've both wanted to endeavor. You could also melt together.
   • Keep the time you spend together commensurate with how well yous know the person. For example, you might non want to volume a vacation together if you've only known the person for a few months. Instead, consider taking a twenty-four hour period trip to exercise something both of you enjoy.

5. 5

   Accept the positive and negative. No person has a one-dimensional personality. Part of getting to know someone amend is realizing that at that place are positive and negative aspects of the person. Taking these ups and downs in stride tin assist you go to know the person better and forge a potent relationship.^[14]

   • Go on your interactions every bit positive as possible. Begin conversations with skilful news or something positive that happened to y'all. This can relax the mood, allowing you or the person to broach negative topics, which can further cue you into their personality.
   • Exist agreement if your friend seems to be having a bad twenty-four hour period. No one is allowed to a bit of negativity and watching how the person handles it tin help you know him or her amend. If you want, discuss what is troubling the person and then offer your aid.

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1. 1

   Let the person know your interest. There is no harm in telling a friend you'd like to get to know him or her better as a friend or take romantic feelings for the person. As a office of a coincidental chat, mention, "I actually relish talking to you and I promise nosotros'll have a chance to develop our friendship more in the hereafter." Be sure to highlight the platonic aspect by maxim "our friendship" and so that yous don't confuse the person. If y'all practice take romantic feelings, yous should besides be clear well-nigh this. You could say, "Yous know, we've been spending a lot of fourth dimension together and my feelings are developing beyond friendship. I hope you feel the same way, just I understand if yous don't." These types of statements show interest without overwhelming the person with expectations.

2. ii

   Share information and feelings. ^[fifteen] When y'all've had a run a risk to get to know the person more than superficially, y'all can start telling them personal data and feelings. This shows the other person you'd like to get to know them ameliorate and helps constitute a bond of trust between the ii of you.

   • Avoid sharing data or feelings that are also personal. Go on what yous say commensurate with how well yous've gotten to know the person. For example, don't mention your sex life or ask about the other person's. This type of data is something shared best within very shut friendships and not with someone you desire to know better.^[16] Instead, share $.25 such equally, "I am nigh to have surgery on my articulatio genus," or "My married man just got a promotion but his company expects us to movement away."

3. 3

   Invite the person to gatherings. In many cases, your friends may offer interesting perspective on someone you want to know amend. Including your friend in activities with your other friends tin can help you run across how the person acts with different people or fifty-fifty other parts of his or her personality.^[17]

   • Remember to go on your invitation commensurate with how well y'all know the person. For example, avert inviting someone out for a night of cocktails if you've simply begun to get to know the person. Instead, consider asking the person to dinner with friends, which will give all of you a chance to talk and get to know more well-nigh each other.

4. iv

   Spend more fourth dimension together. Every bit you and the person get to know each other better, consider spending more time together. Having regular meetings or going on vacation with the person can assist yous get to know them very well.^[eighteen]

   • Consider having a regular "date" over something similar dinner or cocktails. This allows you to option up on conversations or hash out things happening in your respective lives.
   • Schedule solar day trips or vacations together. Being in close proximity to the person during a relaxing trip can assistance you actually know who they are. Only call back that it's adequate if you want to accept some "me" time during vacations, too.

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If you want to go to know someone meliorate, strike upwardly a lighthearted conversation by request the person casual questions, like "Practice you have any pets?" or "What do you similar to do after piece of work?" As yous talk to the person, pay attention to what they go excited about when they talk, and enquire them more questions virtually that. Talk to the person a little each time you run across them, and every bit they become more comfy around you lot, invite them to hang out with you more than oftentimes. For tips from our counseling reviewer on keeping your friendship platonic, read on!

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